by Fionn Zarubica

What is all this bla bla bla about love?

Love this, love that, unconditional love, love is all that matters.

Where, when, how and why is this love thing???  Isn’t life on earth pretty much loveless, or at least a twisted up kind of love?

How is love manifest?  Does anyone know?  Does anyone know when they are in the presence of love, or if they are giving or receiving it?

So many of us  have been tossed around by family and cultural dynamics that we have lost our bearings and don’t know the ocean floor from the sun in the sky. 

Is love about commitment, constancy, country, filial duty, sex, indebtedness, guilt, sacrifice, glory, diminishment, self-aggrandizement, absolutism, money, peace or joy?

How do we know when love is happening?

If we want to know when we are in the presence of love, we need only look to see it in another person’s uncalculated and depthless expression of love for us. 

I am not speaking of the expectation of love and acceptance that one angles for in social transactions such as dating or professional infatuation; but the shining from within the eyes of another person when they reflect upon us the love and grace that we have extended to them.

The love and grace that we have extended to them
The love and grace that we have extended to them
The love and grace that we have extended to them

What goes up, must come down, spinnin’ wheel gotta go round…

What it is real is processed accordingly; yet what is real is processed gently.

When we give love without condition, it does not depend on the opinions of others, make noise or incite a reaction from the outside about how caring and wonderful we are.  It does not encourage feelings of pride, generosity, judgment, virtuosity or moral superiority.

It is one of the most quiet and private transactions ever.  If anyone other than those involved notices, then we can be sure we have not gotten it quite “en pointe”.  However, if only the beloved and we notice, then we know we are in the zone.

It is that moment when, in an interaction with another, our hearts fill to overflowing and words are rendered insufficient.

Every one of us tends to occupy ourselves with the pursuit of love in its various interpretations and forms.  But, for all the adventures our pursuits engender, and all of the strange roads we choose to travel down, we know when we have actually encountered it.  It is stress free, leaves us joy filled, without a need to control and knowing we are whole and complete from the get go.

To get the measure of the quality of the love we are sending out, we have but to take a look at how we are loved – to look in the faces of those with whom we interract.

If we are not seeing anything there, then it is time to consider a new approach and a way to start giving more – free of charge.


Love is all that matters.  Real love.  Hearts bursting, nothing owed.

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