I have always been a bit fascinated by atoms; by the fact that we are made up of them and yet for all of our efforts and technological advances we cannot seem to get to the bottom of them.
As a child I had my own explanation for our physical universe that made sense to me. It was a subatomic nesting doll theory. That we humans are actually hosts to massive galaxies filled with life forms that are hosts to massive galaxies filled with life forms, that are hosts to massive galaxies filled with life forms, and that we likewise exist within outwardly emanating layers; and so on and so on and so on, to infinity.
It caused me to consider the nature of illness and wonder at the location of infinity.
And then there were the other questions, such as where do we go from here? Where is here? Is there one final host form that we can step out of? To where? If the host does not take care of itself, will the galaxies within be affected? If we do not take care of ourselves are we affecting an infinite series of galaxies within us?
Two lines of thought are converging here: Spiritual theory and atomic theory; subjects that since childhood have co-occupied the workbench in my mind.
There are those who are at ease with the suggestion that we might be spiritual beings having a human experience; and some willing to consider the possibility of a super-consciousness running things.
Others prefer a scientific model that explains it all.
But, when I try to make sense out of the material, I cannot step around the presence of the inexpressible and unexplainable that reveals itself.
We can no more locate a final subatomic particle within matter, than prove that we are not spiritual beings having a human experience.
If subatomic theory tells me anything it is that for every material manifestation, there is an indefinable something that comes along with it.
In the individual it is the “I am” factor. The part of us that we know intimately yet cannot wholly describe, modify or explain away with science. That unique essence that distinguishes each off us from all other life forms in the Universe.
We cannot provide a thesis that puts our questions to rest. Every disambiguation deepens the mystery.
I am pretty content with my subatomic meditation, and someday I will get my answers. But, what is clear to me now is that there is only one thing that is holding it all together, and that is love.
Love is all that matters.